Top 10 Reasons You Want an Open Adoption
Top 10 Reasons You Want an Open Adoption
In recent years there has been a shift in the adoption world leaning toward open adoptions due to the overwhelming amount of research and evidence that displays the benefits of open vs. closed adoption for all members of the adoption triad: the adoptive family, the adoptee, and the birthmother or birth relatives. An open adoption refers to an adoption in which there is an ongoing exchange of information and relationship between the adoptive family, the birth family, and the adoptee. There is a spectrum of openness that can range from email communication and updates to regular get togethers.
1. Openness allows for an improved grief process. Amidst the grief of placing a child for adoption, having an open relationship with the adoptive family allows you to work through, rather than become stuck, in the grief process. Openness has been shown to have better mental health outcomes for all involved in the adoption process. It allows for less uncertainty and increased peace of mind about your decision because you are able to witness the life that you provided to your child through your choice of adoption.
2. Provides you control over your adoption plan. The ability to choose, meet with and get to know the potential adoptive family and set expectations for the type of relationship you’d like to have with them and your child after placement allows you to be in control of the adoption plans for your child and how you will be involved after placement.
3. Relationships built and centered around the best interest of your child. You can never have too many people who love your child. Having an open connection to the adoptive family and the adoptee allows you to develop relationships and reduces the anxiety that can arise due to the finality of the decision to make an adoption plan. These relationships can and should evolve throughout your child’s life and are beneficial to you, your child and your child’s adoptive family. (Scroll down to read more about the benefits to your child!)
4. It’s important to know where you came from. Having this connection will allow the child to have further insight into their sociocultural, racial, or ethnic backgrounds. Openness prevents the adopted child from fantasizing about their birth family because there is no need to. An open relationship with the birth family allows the child to receive answers about big questions they may have in life, such as “Who am I” and “Where did I come from?” which can be beneficial in building an adoptee’s self-esteem and identity.
5. You have access to important genetic information. While it is true that medical information is provided during the adoption process, having an open adoption helps to ensure that updated medical information can be provided over the course of the child’s lifetime.
6. Open adoption counters abandonment. Since the connection between the birth family and adoptive family remains open, it allows for communication between the adoptee and the birth family over their lifetime. This helps reduce feelings of abandonment that could potentially be harmful to an individual with their sense of self and future relationships.
7. You can get answers to tough questions. Through the adopted child’s lifetime, they will be at various stages of understanding their story. Having this open connection with their birth family will allow them to understand where they came from as a part of their identity. An established connection with the birth family may enable the adoptee to receive answers to questions the adoptive family may not have answers to. Knowing their adoption story can provide a sense of control, builds self-esteem, and offers closure to insecurities.
8. Relationships benefit your child. The relationships between the adoption triad members are important and provide validation to the family. The adoptive family's relationship with the birth family can grow to feel like extended family members throughout life. This can be a great asset in raising an emotionally well-adjusted child adoptee.
9. Openness allows for reduced fear. The adoption process can bring up insecurities and having an open adoption can enable the adoptive family to have increased empathy toward birth parents. This positive relationship results in a better relationship with their child as adoptees adjust better when there is no negativity surrounding their adoption story.
10. It provides help in encouraging the adoptee’s emotional well-being. In an open adoption, the adoptive parents have access to information and relationships that are not available with a closed adoption. With this, they can provide the adoptee with age-appropriate knowledge of their story and help the child to process their adoption journey in a positive and healthy way.
95% of infant adoptions within the U.S. have some degree of openness. At Catholic Charities, all of the adoptive families in our Infant Domestic program are open to having a fully open adoption with their child’s birth family. Meaghan Lane, Program Director, discusses our approach to openness and the benefits of it:
“Open adoption provides benefits to each member of the adoption triad. For the birth parents, it assists in navigating the grief and loss process by seeing evidence of their child thriving and happy in the adoption that they chose for their child and ensures they can be a part of their child’s life, even though they chose not to parent. For the adoptive parents, it provides important links to their child’s birth family and history, gives them opportunities to invest in their child’s self-image and worth by building positive relationships with the child’s birth family, increases their empathy towards birth parents, and results in benefits in their relationship with their child. Adopted children are more satisfied in their identity as being adopted when there is an ongoing relationship with their birth family, it helps them to make sense of their adoption and leads to higher self-esteem and increased trust in their adoptive parents.”
Open adoption has shown great success when evaluating positive outcomes from the adoption process. A good adoption agency will advocate for and assist the adoptive family and birth family in developing an openness plan that works for all members of the adoption triad.