I Can Do All Things Now, with Him

Working as an adoption counselor is both rewarding and hard. And there are days when “hard” doesn’t even begin to describe it. I work with all three members of the Adoption Triad  (Birth family, adoptive family and adoptee) in some of the most painful and vulnerable moments each of them experience in their adoption journey. I sit with them in situations that, no matter how much I want to or try to “fix” the problem, I can’t do the work for them or take the difficulty away. And so, I crashed full force into the wall of my human limitations becoming exhausted and trapped in a whirlpool of hopelessness and a sense of inadequacy and “failure”. At one point I was literally in the dark, in my room, crying the only thing I could hold on to keep me going in that particular moment was my own prayer of “Abba, Father, please help me. I can’t do this anymore!” I don’t know what prompted me to use those specific words, “Abba” and “Father”, the words that Jesus used on the Cross, but they poured out of my mouth before I even realized fully what I was saying. In the months that followed as I slowly inched my way through healing that involved therapy, the sacraments and a mission trip to Kenya where, ironically, we stayed at an orphanage called “Into Abba’s Arms” the prayers I kept coming back to were “Abba, Father, help me”.

Later that year, I completed Father Gaitley’s 33 Days to Merciful Love: Consecration to Divine Mercy . Following my consecration on Divine Mercy Sunday, I was very aware of a sense of quiet, peace and wholeness I hadn’t felt before. I had a resolve that “I can do this now with Him.” In the months that have followed I haven’t always felt that peace nor have I always perfectly trusted him with my challenges and frustrations. But, I do finally believe to the core of being that he is my father. And I’m trying to be more open to his presence and let him help me with the work he’s entrusted to me. I’m an instrument in the work he wants to accomplish through my efforts and talents but ultimately, it’s his job, not mine, to do the heavy lifting of making good come out of crises and hope out hopelessness. It’s the paradox of the Catholic faith that in order to breathe freely and take off in your mission, you have had to become a child, dependent on a father who has always promised to be there and is always faithful to his promises.

Bridget Mullen, MS, LGPC

Pregnancy and Adoption Counselor

Catholic Charities Diocese of Arlington