Adoption Options: Who Should We Work With to Adopt?

Adoption is emotional, personal and challenging.  You’ll want to work with a provider with whom you feel comfortable.  Prospective adoptive parents must be aware and mindful of potential adoption scams and unethical practices.  Finding a provider who is reputable, licensed in the state(s) that they work with birth parents, and accredited is critical to ensure the best outcomes for you and your adopted child(ren).  At Catholic Charities, we are committed to fostering healthy adoptions and educating communities on adoption ethics is one way we seek to do that.

Find out what the agency values are regarding counseling, families, pregnancy support, faith affiliation and care for clients. While you do not have to share the same values as your provider, you will want to be comfortable with their framework for services. For example, our program is a mission of Catholic Charities; our service model and service delivery are rooted in the Catholic faith and teachings on the dignity and value of individuals and families.

Expect high quality service delivery and training. The goal of adoption should not just be to adopt a child: it should be for the child, birth parent and adoptive family to thrive.   This is why ethical adoption providers prepare families throughout the home study and training process for the challenges they may face and equip families with the skills and knowledge they will need to successfully navigate those challenges. 

“Ethical adoption practices foster healthy adoptions”

Avoid unethical practices such as providers who advertise services that they do not provide. For example, adoption facilitators and adoption law centers are unlicensed entities who seek out pregnant woman to place with their identified ‘client’. This kind of structure focuses on advertising and coercion rather than genuine counseling and assistance for a woman/family facing a crisis. In Virginia, adoption facilitating entities are outlawed.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.  Be wary of providers who make blanket promises or assurances regarding adoption. For a child to be adopted, there must first be some type of crisis leading to the adoption - it should never be assumed that a pregnant client considering adoption will ultimately follow through with her adoption plan even if she has chosen an adoptive family. Similarly, it should not be assumed that a child in foster care will not have behavioral struggles when transitioned to the adoptive home. Ask questions and seek honesty and transparency in the answers you are provided.

Adoption is not an exchange of goods, and it should never be viewed as merely transactional.  Adoption should always be structured in a way that protects and supports everyone in the adoption triad: the birth family, the adoptive family and the adoptee.  

The decision to pursue adoption is a big step, followed by the equally big step of who will be accompanying you on your adoption journey.  Be sure to do your research, expect high quality services, and listen to your gut.  

Lord, we pray for all families considering growing through the gift of adoption.  Please guide their hearts towards ethical adoption providers that will best support and prepare them for the journey they are about to begin.  Bless all prospective and current adoptive families, birth parents and adopted children.  Saint Joseph, perfect foster father of Jesus, pray for us! 

Additional Resources

Meaghan Lane